Chapter 176: You're A Dad
"Did you get the results?" Tim asked Jimmy on Tuesday at lunch.
Tim knows the answer is yes. He can see it by the way Jimmy hasn't checked his cell, and the fact that he looks a lot more relaxed. Not necessarily happier, but more at peace, so the results on the genetic testing for the Trisomy 13 gene must have come back.
"Neither of us." He stabs a bite of his chicken breast. "It was just bad damn luck. If we want to do IVF and have the embryos screened ahead of time, we can, but since neither of us are carriers the chance of it happening again isn't any higher than it was the first time."
Jimmy shakes his head. "No. We're not going to do that."
"Just gonna close your eyes and jump off the cliff again?"
"Hoping and praying for a soft landing the entire way down? Yeah."
"You sure…" Tim's not sure how to say this delicately, so he goes for blunt as hell, "if it's a money thing… I mean, I know our insurance won't cover that… Abby and I could help." He and Abby talked about, so he knows she's okay with it. It's not the sort of thing he'd just whip out on a whim.
Jimmy just blinks at him. "Uh… wow! That's just… Do you have any idea what that sort of thing costs?"
"Yeah. Which is why I brought it up."
Jimmy's looking at him in confusion. "How would you even know that?"
"When something scary happens to me or anyone I love, I research the hell out of it."
"So… ummm… yeah…"
"It's not a money thing. It's a… Neither of us wants to make babies by me jerking off into a cup while pumping her full of hormones to bolster egg production and then suck them out, mix in a pitri dish, let them grow a little, test them, and then put them back in. I mean…" He pokes at his food some more, gathering his thoughts. "It's supposed to feel good. It's supposed to be about joy and love and ecstasy… Making them is the fun part…" Jimmy shakes his head dismissively at that. "Making them is a fun part. Making them is supposed to feel as good as having them, and since it won't really change things, we're not willing to give that up, let alone go broke doing it."
Tim nods. He's not entirely certain how to reply to that. He gets what Jimmy is saying, and completely agrees with it, but "Good luck" seems flip and hollow, "I hope it works out" seems lame, but he does want to say something.
Finally he comes up with, "I can't wait to meet Molly's little brother or sister."
"You and me both."
"You going to start trying again right away?"
"Oh yeah. Tossed the condoms out last night. With any luck it'll be a really exciting Christmas at our house this year."
"I really hope so."
"Me, too." Jimmy took another bite of his grilled chicken salad. "Abby said you had news, too."
"Yeah. Don't want this getting around work, though." Which was probably half of why Abby decided he and Jimmy needed to have lunch out today and set it up. "When Jenner in Cybercrime gives his notice, I'll take his place."
Jimmy smiles at that. "Department head by forty, who knew you were so ambitious?"
"Yeah. Well, assuming Jenner doesn't decide to stick around forever. Scuttlebutt has it he's been job hunting, though."
"You don't exactly look ecstatic."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy, but… the badge and the gun and running down bad guys… That's a really big part of who I am. I'm a cop."
Jimmy nods, getting that. "You're a dad."
"Yeah, and husband, and that comes first, and this is necessary to put that first. I can track cybercrime from home. I can sort financials, and hunt down the bad guys with my computer while Ke—McSciuto—"
"That family name we haven't been telling anyone about."
"Yeah, Tim, I hate to break this to you, but all of your friends are cops, and even if they weren't, they aren't idiots. Absolutely no one hasn't figured out your mystery 'family name' is Kelly."
Tim sighs a little, rolls his eyes a little, and takes a bite of his flounder. "We're still going to wait to see if she's actually a girl, and then ask Jethro to make sure it's cool with him."
Jimmy nod and smiles. "You know, for a guy who'll wear a skirt and eyeliner to Shabbos, you're shockingly conservative about some things."
"I only did the eyeliner once." Which is true. Penny was at last Friday's Shabbos and… he's fairly sure it was fall out from rethinking everything that happened with his Dad, but he went all out on the Goth version of himself. Penny just looked at him when he and Abby came in, smiled, kissed his cheek, and asked what brand of eyeliner he liked, listened to his answer, and then acted like him in makeup was no big deal at all.
That had actually felt insanely good.
"Just wanted to freak Tony out and let Penny see what it looked like."
"And you did a fine job of both of them. Last I heard, he was muttering about instituting a dress code, and had told me that if you try to wear makeup to his wedding that I'm to wrestle you to the ground and scrub it off."
Tim laughed at that. "I hadn't been planning on it… Anyway… McSciuto can be sleeping in her crib, and I can be hacking away in my office. I can be home at six every night. Sure, I might be chained to my computer and cell once I get there, and I might end up with three other Cybercrime Agents in my living room, but unlike Abby, my job can come home."
"Yep. You're a dad."
"Yeah. And I want to do it right. But… it still feels weird."
"Feels like you're changing. Like you don't quite know who you are?"
"Welcome to the club, Tim. Give it a few months, once she's on the outside, you'll get settled again."
"I hope so."