Monday, July 15, 2013

Shards To A Whole: Chapter 140

McGee-centric character study/romance. Want to start at the beginning? Click here.

Chapter 140: Ziva's Problem

Ziva David had a problem.

Not a huge one or anything, but still, it was something that had to be resolved, and soon.

In only slightly more than four months, on April 5th, 2015, she was getting married.

And she still didn't have a matron of honor.

Tony had picked Tim as his best man, well, before they got engaged. She's not even sure Tony formally asked Tim, or if it was just understood that that was how it was going to go. But she hasn't picked between Abby and Breena. They've never pressured her to decide, never even asked, but it's still there, in the back of Ziva's mind, at least.

Abby and Breena have both been helping with the wedding. They both swung into planning mode at a moment's notice. No matter what she wants an opinion on, they're willing to help with. They were both there when she picked out her gown. (Picking out their dresses has been put on hold until much closer to time, what with both of them being pregnant.) They've been helpful every step of the way.

She loves both of them dearly.

She's extremely grateful to have both of them in her life.

But they aren't Tali.

That had been the first dream. The little girl's fantasy wedding. That one day she'd hand her bouquet to her sister, who would stand tall and proud next to her at her wedding.

But that dream was beyond dead. Tali will not be there to stand up next to her. Her father cannot give her away. Her mother will not walk beside him to do it. Ari won't give her husband-to-be a stern talking to, let alone help lift her aloft during the dancing. Her chuppah won't be in an olive grove. Her wedding feast won't be outside, air scented with olive blossoms and lemons. Her wedding won't be in Hebrew.

Literally nothing of that dream, save for the white dress and the gold wedding band, had survived.

And they aren't Jen. Granted the version of Ziva that met Jenny Shepard on a mission in Europe wasn't thinking wedding bells, let alone much of anything beyond getting the job done. But Jenny had made a way into Ziva's heart.

Jen Sheppard 2001
Jenny was fierce, driven, sharp and dangerous, and broken but functional. Jenny got Ziva, got her in a way that no other woman ever had.

And it was really nice to have a female friend.

So, no, she hadn't thought of Jen as the woman who would stand beside her at her wedding, because she wasn't thinking she'd ever get married then. Didn't much think about the idea that she'd ever live past thirty then. But when she conjured an image of a woman who had her back, who would go to the wall to keep her safe, that woman had red hair, a slight build, and an easy, warm smile.

And since Jen's been dead, there's been yet another hole in her world.

She knows Abby felt that, too. That for her there was a Kate-shaped hole at their wedding. And it isn't any disrespect to Jimmy, it doesn't mean she didn't love him, but he wasn't her first choice.

He was the choice that was left.

And of the choices she has left… She's known Abby longer, but is probably slightly more fond of Breena. But Breena will be eight months pregnant at their wedding, and if Sammy decides to show up early…

Ziva picked up her phone. "Hello, Abby…"

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