Chapter 211: Jimmy and Tim
After Penny got done with snapping some sense into them, they spent a while looking at the pictures, and by then Tim, Abby, and Gibbs had calmed down enough to start asking more questions, and Abby started showing them what she was reading, and it's not so much that it's factually wrong, (Though Jimmy's pretty sure that's true, too, but he hasn't done the research, so he doesn't actually know.) just really spun in a very anti-western medicine sort of direction.
Jimmy walked them through how a c-section works, which Ducky found fascinating, the last time he did one they still cut straight through everything in one long line down the abdomen. So the idea of multiple crossing incisions to minimize scarring and long term abdominal weakness struck him as awfully cool. He'd certainly seen the technique used for tracheotomies, had done it back when he was a medic, and was feeling intensely stupid that it took so long for anyone to think of using it for a c-section.
Eventually though, the conversation wore down, and just sitting around trying not to be scared was pretty useless, so Penny, Ducky, and Gibbs went home.
Jimmy stuck around a bit longer than that, wanting to make sure Tim was good before he left.
"Walk me to my car," Jimmy says to Tim. Abby's looking at him curiously, wondering what he wants to say to Tim without her around, but he just winks at her and kisses her cheek, saying, "Stupid husband stuff. Don't worry about it."
She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Come on, I know you talk to Breena without me. I know, tomorrow, you're going to call her and complain about how Tim and Jethro went bonkers on you." She shrugged a little and smiled a little at that. "And you'll cry on her about how Penny was being sort of mean, and how the rest of us just don't get it when it comes to this whole natural birth thing."
"Well, you don't!"
"Of course we don't. And you're going to talk to her about it tomorrow. So, give me a few minutes with Tim. He'll probably tell you all about it when he comes back in."
Tim walked him out, and they both stood next to Jimmy's Tuscon. (Yes, they have an Odyssey, this is the smaller, going places without a kid car.)
"So, you okay?"
"No. Gibbs isn't, either."
"I know. You okay to be on your own and not freak out?"
"Yeah." He held out his hand, and it was pretty steady. Not as still as normal, but not as bad as two hours ago. "I'll probably head up, wrap around her, and not let go until Kelly's out."
"She's going to be okay."
Tim flashed him a quit the bullshit look. "You don't actually know that."
Jimmy squeezed his shoulder, smiled weakly, and said, "You're right, I don't. And I know all about rolling snake-eyes on the one in 10,000 chance. But I do know, no matter what happens next, we are here to get you through it. And I absolutely know that by the end of work day after tomorrow at the latest Ducky and I will have everything on hand to deal with an emergency c-section if she needs one at work, let alone whatever it is Dr. Draz recommends for stabilization-type things to get her to stop bleeding long enough to get her to real obstetrical experts.
"And I know that it's okay to be scared about this, because it is freaking scary, but that if you do go up there, wrap around her, and not let go for the next eight weeks she will be miserable. She loves you, but she doesn't want to be your conjoined twin.
"And I know one other thing, when I leave, you need to go back up there and make love to her." Tim's eyes go wide at that. "Look, I know you, and I know you're planning on not having sex with her again until Kelly's on the outside. Bad plan. All that'll do is make both of you miserable, so don't do it."
"I can't risk it." Tim doesn't even know how to begin putting into words how scary he finds that.
"You can and will because it'll make both of you happier, and it's probably the only thing that'll really get it through your head she's not going to break."
"No buts, I've seen you walking around in your boxers with morning wood. You're really not that big. But if that makes you too damn nervous, I know for a fact that both of you have mouths, and hers is located nowhere even remotely near her placenta."
Tim looked at him, annoyed. "Why would you jump straight to dick? Dr. Draz did that, too. I'm not a moron. But… muscle contractions are muscle contractions, right?"
Jimmy grabbed Tim's arm and squeezed, hard, really hard.
"Exactly. In medical terms that's a mild contraction. Usually, you don't even go to the hospital until you can't talk through them and they last for a minute."
"Yeah, they aren't kidding about the whole it-hurts-thing. But, my point is, you're not getting her off that hard."
"I get her off hard enough her whole body shakes for minutes after and she blacks out."
|"You do what to her?"|
Jimmy just stares at Tim, dumbfounded. For a good minute he seemed to be thinking of things to say without saying them and finally settled on whacking Tim's shoulder and saying, "Well, don't do that! If she blacks out it means you've messed with her heart rate, respiration, and muscle tension to the point where her brain isn't getting enough oxygen. So, just… don't do that when she's pregnant." He spent another minute looking at Tim, shaking his head, exasperated, and then said, "But I'm willing to bet, that if you try really hard, and maybe spend a little while studying, you could, just possibly, locate some middle ground between no sex at all and orgasms so hard you black out. And if push comes to shove, I bet Tony could give you some pointers on how normal sex works."
Tim rolled his eyes and shoved Jimmy. "But you couldn't?"
"Nope. Wouldn't know normal sex if it bit me on the ass." Jimmy smiles at him, looking cocky. Trying to jolly Tim a little, lift his mood some.
"Everyone tells you that sex can trigger labor."
"Bullshit. Labor starts when it starts, and sometimes you happen to have sex before it does. Seriously, we did it every single day for the last three weeks, twice, sometimes three times when Breena was getting really desperate to get Molly out, and nothing. If the first thirty times we did it didn't set her off, that last one wasn't the magic bullet. It just happens, and there's nothing you can do short of pharmacological intervention to speed that up."
"You need to. She's not going to break. And you need to know that."
"Tim, you did not just meet this woman last week. You know she can only take so much overprotective bullshit from you. She's been humoring you for months now, and unfortunately you've already probably cashed in the I'm-scared coupon a few times too often. And on top of that, Gibbs is likely to go all Papa Bear on her. Hell, he's probably already calling Vance to see if the Norfolk guys can be transferred tomorrow or the next day so she'll have help in the lab that much faster.
"Under the absolute best circumstances, she was going to be prickly and annoyed over the next two months. You two hovering over her like she'll drop over dead if she puts a toe out of line will just make it worse.
"So get your ass up there and act like this is the most important person on earth, and that her happiness is more important to you than your comfort. Make love to her, treat her like a woman, like your woman, and not a child. Prove to yourself and her that she won't break."
Tim's staring at the windows of his bedroom, still dark. From the looks of the lights, Abby's still downstairs.
"Come on, you're not going off to face a firing squad."
"Thirty times and nothing?"
"I don't know if that means you're lame at sex or if it really doesn't work."
Jimmy punched his shoulder. "Really doesn't work. Did her water break the last time you made her pass out? Did she start bleeding? No, she didn't. And it's not going to today, either." He turned Tim to face him. "Look, I don't know if she's going to be okay, I just don't. But I do know that absolutely nothing you are, could, will, or even might imagine doing with her tonight will cause a problem. And I know that because it didn't cause any problems yesterday, and everything is exactly the same today as it was yesterday, you just know about it today."
Tim sighs, looking back at his house, like he could see Abby through the walls. "Story of my life."
He shook his head. "Long story, not for tonight."
"So?" Abby said when he came in. She was laying on the sofa, on her side, looking at the ultrasounds of Kelly, one hand holding the shots, other one gently resting on the baby bump.
Tim sat on the floor in front of her, kissed her tummy, then leaned so his forehead was resting against it and his arm draped over her stomach and hips. He didn't feel any movement, and figured Kelly was probably napping.
"I'm scared. I've never been this scared in my life, including every time I've almost died, including when Cobb was running around killing us, including dragging you out of the lab when it was filled with cyanide, and when that maniac was holding a gun on you, and every bad fight with my dad, and just every shit thing that's ever happened to me or me and you, and this is worse. And Jimmy knows it, because he's been here, and he was reminding me that if I don't want to end up miserable in addition to terrified, I've got to suck it up and not annoy you so bad you want to shoot me."
Abby smiled at that. "Wise man."
"Last week the idea of doing this at home was terrifying, but I'd trade this in a heartbeat for that. And I'm trying not to be a jerk. I'm trying to keep in mind that this was something important to you, in a way that it wasn't to me, and that you just lost that, too."
"And I'm trying not to be totally insane about this, but I know I'm going to be a little insane."
"You and me, both."
That got a half-hearted smile out of him. "Yeah."
"And Gibbs is going to be a lot insane."
"Yeah. Jimmy's betting he already has Vance on the line and is trying to get Norfolk shut down that much faster so you've got people in the lab all the time, and my guess is that he won't be able to swing it, so my new workstation is down there."
"That's his idea?"
Tim shrugged a little. If Gibbs didn't think of it on his own, he'd certainly agree to it once Tim started moving his stuff down there. "I'd imagine we're both on the same page with this. You're down there on your own for hours at a time. That's a lot of time for something to go wrong before someone might pop in and see you need help."
"This is your definition of a little insane?"
He smiled very dryly, a wild, scared look in his eyes. "Yeah, because I know what a lot insane looks like. I can feel it. Trust me, you don't want to see it."
She petted his face, and he took her wrist in his hand, kissing her palm, feeling her pulse under his fingers. "So, that was Jimmy's pep talk? Don't freak out?"
"It was focused on a pretty specific aspect of freaking out."
"Ahhh… And that would be?"
He looked at their sofa. It's really not wide enough for both of them to spoon on anymore.
"Not enough room here." Tim kissed her lips soft and sweet, stood up, and offered her his hand. "Come upstairs with me, and I'll show you."
Sex can be comfort made touch. It can be hot, shuddering, sweaty orgasms. Or sweet, gentle reprieve. It can be pleasure, or anger, or rage, or love.
It's the ultimate shape-shifter, capable of filling whatever vessel it's poured into.
And comfort, reassurance, surcease, all of those are available options.
It's true that Tim's scared enough he wasn't able to get hard. It just didn't happen. His dick was showing some mild interest in what was going on, but it never got past that. Abby certainly noticed, but didn't say anything.
But his fingers, tongue, and lips still worked, and they're all firmly under the control of his brain, so they did exactly what he told them to do, and the results were pretty good.
And yes, Abby arching against his mouth, the taste of her on his tongue, her hands clenching in his hair, shuddering in a very happy sort of way was very good. Nothing besides warm, happy, sleepy feelings after that was better, and Jimmy was right, it did help, and he's thinking that come morning time, he'll be able to get his dick into the game, which would be a good thing.
But at the same time, her body on his, her skin under his, warm and alive and vibrant, the sound of her voice, and the feel of her breath, the pleasure of her body, all of that sharpens how much is at stake. The only person in the world he can't live without is sleeping in his arms, and the idea that he might have to, might need to find the strength to go on without her kept him awake until the sun rose.